Toothpaste, mushrooms and roses

I have always thought it was weird when one of the first things that is discussed in pre-marital counseling is if you roll or squeeze your toothpaste and how so many fights break out over this controversy. I always thought there are a whole lot more important things to be talking about instead. Besides, why doesn't anyone ever say, "who the heck cares, just buy two tubes of toothpaste!" (which is what we did cause we both like different kinds of toothpaste).

Marriage is hard- it takes putting the other persons needs ahead of your own, it also takes compromising, loving unconditionally, and choosing to work hard to make sure your relationship lasts- not just giving up when it gets tough. To steal from Gary Thomas, who wrote Sacred Marriage (highly recommend this book), I agree that marriage exists to make us more holy. It is a spiritual discipline that is part of our sanctification process. I also think that children are a HUGE part of this as well. I didn't come close to understanding my own selfishness and sinfulness until after Tripp was born. I have also learned that being tired, spit-up on, and un-showered-for-a-few-days does not in anyway justify treating my husband poorly.
But marriage is also awesome. There is something that is so comforting about the fact that Nelson knows every little detail about me and yet he still loves me. I love the feeling of cuddling up to him at night while we watch our favorite TV shows. I love that we email many times during the day just to hear what the other person is up to or what weirdness is happening at our respective workplaces. I love that we have our own "dialect" when talking to each other (if you don't believe me, just ask my brother and sister-in-law, they are really good at imitating it). And I also love that Nelson knows and loves all the little things about me that make me who I am. Like the fact that I am really clumsy, that I love mushrooms even though he hates them.

And I love that when Nelson gets a burger at a fast food restaurant, he folds the wrapper into a perfect square that fits directly under his burger and eats off of that and that he always makes sure his cup holders are closed in his car (of course they are always open in mine- they need to be ready for a drink at a moments notice).
It is really nice too when you show up at home after a long, hard day and have a dozen of these waiting for you.

So fight for your marriage. It is probably the hardest thing you will ever do, but it's the right thing to do and it's totally worth it.