2009 was probably the best and hardest year of my life so far. the reason for it can be summed up in one word: Tripp. having a baby is the most amazing and miraculous things i have ever witnessed. first this little baby grew inside of me with really no help from me, then he was born and is growing, developing, and becoming this little person. i can not think of much else that is as amazing a testimony to the existence of an all-knowing, sovereign, powerful, and loving God. but having a baby is also one of the hardest things i have ever done. for me, it wasn't the pregnancy or childbirth that was particularly hard (although there were definitely some scary moments), it's the months that have followed that have been the most challenging. and i will be the first to admit that Tripp is pretty much a dream baby. sure we have had our moments, and probably the hardest/his fussiest was the first four months. but once we got rid of his pacifier, a lot of things improved. the hardest thing for me is adjusting to what it means to be a mom, what my role looks like, learning to prioritize my time and having to constantly die to my own desires, wants and even needs to take care of Tripp. learning to be selfless when it comes to most areas of my life is hard. really hard. and it is something that has taken almost 8 months to even remotely start to improve. you can ask nelson- he has been the receiver of many snippy remarks, bad attitudes, and hours of the silent treatment because i am ticked off about something that i shouldn't even remotely frustrated with (things even as ridiculous and small as having to change a diaper or feed my son). i have been learning, for probably the first time in my life, what it means to love in a way that is patient, kind, not self-seeking, and not easily-angered. and i am learning what it means to be a wife of noble character- who gets up while it is still dark to provide food for the family, to set about my work vigorously and to be clothed in strength and dignity. i know this process is not easy, and it will be a process that lasts my whole life. but in the meantime, i will enjoy the blessings God has given me- the gift of salvation, a wonderful husband and son- and i will look forward to the ways He will continue to refine me.
1 comment:
Well said Emily. I can totally relate, but seem to be in the "kicking and screaming" phase of adjusting to motherhood and life at home. Your honesty is encouraging; we can pray for one another to grow in godliness as we care for our families. It's not easy, but I trust that it is good.
Love, Sarah Jo
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